Important List making

Image Description: A birds-eye-view of Kae holding a blue butterfly with a broken wing on her index finger, resting on her lap.

As my disease progresses, I’m hyper-aware of the timeline I’m on. Experiencing a decline in mobility and strength heightens the fear and anxiety in my situation. I can’t control the rate my body decides to deteriorate and I can’t stop time but I can begin to dream again. In my early years of diagnosis, I halted all visions I had of my future—I wasn’t sure I had one anymore. Eventually, though, I learned to change my tune. I started making bucket lists every year, grand and small, even if it seemed unobtainable. Sometimes I barely cross anything off but I write it down again the following year. 

Life is about doing what you can. I might not get to travel the world but I’m happy to participate in life doing even the mundane things. When you’ve been dealt challenging cards, you become simple like that. This disease has emphasized appreciating more presence and experience than material, and that feels like living. 

I finally got the chance to go to a butterfly conservatory! A kind stranger handed me her butterfly, which I later noticed had a broken wing. Undoubtedly a sign and no coincidence I was meant to meet and hold that disabled beauty. Butterflies are symbols of transformation, hope, and rebirth. We are the same. 🦋🤍

What’s on your bucket list?

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