Certified Freak
Historically, people with visible disabilities were labelled as “freaks” or part of “freak shows”, and having a rare and unique diagnosis can make you feel like one. No one can relate, which leaves you feeling abnormal and segregated. You know you will never get to live a normal life again, and that brings an unexplainable, isolating kind of grief.
Being different also chips away at your self-esteem; you’re not only battling external judgment and societal expectations but also fighting the endless noise of your inner critic. It’s as much a mental game as it is a physical one. It took me a long time to come to terms with accepting something beyond my control, and yet still, on my darkest days, I inevitably fall back into old habits and shrink. I don’t want to be perceived, and the future feels bleak. I am tired but I am trying.
I’ve learned that survival alone isn’t enough. It’s easy to get swept up in the present, overlooking the trail you’ve left behind but I realize I have to carve out intentional time to reflect and celebrate my wins, or I risk collapsing under the weight of it all.
My life isn’t normal, and it never will be—but normal isn’t the goal anymore. I’ve learned to risk being seen for all that I am, embracing the word “freak” as part of my story. It’s no longer shameful. It’s proof that I’ve survived, grown, and found meaning in a life I thought was over. It’s not, it just looks different—Happy late International Day of People with Disabilities (IDPD) to my people. I see you and I’m proud of us. 💙